Of Course you're tired. Changing the world is an exhausting business.

The inconsistency of writing a blog has kicked in. This is what always happens. I start out strong, writing something every day, and then it starts turning into once a week and then every now and then. Each time I vow that I'll start being consistent and stay on top of things... so this time I'm not going to say that. All I can say is that I will do my best.

Life has been incredibly busy though I feel like I've been sleeping more than I usually do. It's a very strange feeling. Yesterday I didn't get up until 7am, and then today at 6am. Maybe my body is trying to catch up with the physical and mental exertion? Sometimes I feel more tired when I've mentally pushed myself than if I've been doing something physical.

Training has been off and on. I'm still getting in runs but it hasn't been consistent or planned. I can easily do 5-6 miles at a 9-10 min/mile pace. I need to get up to 9-11 miles at that pace. The struggle comes in that I want to be at work early, which means the sun typically isn't up when I would need to go for a run (and I don't like my neighborhood in the dark), but then when I leave work early all I want to do is go home, grab a snack, and relax... excuses EXCUSES.

As corny as it sounds everything that I'm trying to do is definitely a marathon, and not a sprint. None of it are things that can be done in a day or a week or even a month. My job with Goodwill is everyday for (hopefully) a long time. Synergia is a lifetime endeavor that needs to constantly be worked and kneaded. The wedding is a year long project that can only happen at a certain pace based on a specific end date. And then there's training for races, trying to build a design portfolio, volunteering with Relay for Life of San Ramon... it's exhausting just thinking about it all.

When you're trying to do it all and make a difference in not only our life, but other people's lives as well, it's tough. Sometimes I feel like I'm on this constant roller coaster with twists, turns, hills, valleys and then a combination of all of them. But that's life. I have to constantly remind myself why I'm doing all of this: I want to make a difference. I want to be remembered as someone that cared... no, loved. I want to be remembered as someone that loved with all that she has and can be.

I have an image on the cover of my Facebook page that I constantly look at, and it reminds me to keep going. It reminds me that what I'm trying to do isn't easy and it's going to be exhausting, but I have to keep going and persevere because that is the only way to succeed.